


special privileges

by spookykingdomstarlight



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: First Kiss, Flirting, Future Fic, Guilt, M/M, Post-Game(s), Scott isn't the Pathfinder, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 08:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18133511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookykingdomstarlight/pseuds/spookykingdomstarlight
Summary: Probably somewhere deep down inside he was offended to have been so thoroughly exposed just because he was a day behind on shaving, but going on the defensive wouldn’t help. Better to deflect. “Some humans are attracted to artful displays of facial ‘hair growth.’”





	special privileges

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wintertree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wintertree/gifts).



It was a harder decision to come back to the Nexus than Scott would have expected given how little connection he felt to Meridian, how little he truly liked the place. It was his sister’s achievement, a golden world for everyone to share, not just humanity like the plan had been once upon a time; she’d always been an overachiever and he loved her for it. But in truth, all he could think about when he looked over the picturesque landscape was the Archon’s touch on his body, the press of wire against his skin, painpain _pain_ , and guilt that he’d been used as a lure, that his only remaining family could have died trying to save him.

Meridian, honestly, just wasn’t his favorite place in this galaxy or any other. But it had been a pain in the ass telling Sara what he’s intended to do, feeling like he was rejecting her work, maybe even rejecting her, and now that he was back here, stuck in Nexus’s ever-growing line at customs, he wondered if he’d made a mistake.

It wasn’t any easier. The band that tightened around his chest didn’t ease in the slightest. It was maybe a—

“Ryder, what are you doing over there?” The voice belonged to a turian, that much was immediately clear, but it took a moment for Scott to recognize Kandros through the crowd of people surrounding him. But once he did, Scott couldn’t hold back a smile. It took every ounce of patience he had not to immediate shout back or jump the gate to say hello.

The Ryder family wasn’t much known for it, but Scott managed to keep his cool anyway. It was perhaps nicer than it should have been to see a friendly face.

As soon as Kandros was close enough that it wouldn’t have been entirely rude or disruptive to speak, he answered. “There’s only so much cachet that comes from being the brother of a galactic hero, it seems.”

Kandros, just like Scott hoped, rolled his eyes. And then he snapped his talons to get the attention of the salarian customs agent and that was less what Scott was hoping for. In fact, a small tendril of guilt and embarrassment unfurled in his gut and wriggled around, unhappy at the preferential treatment he was about to be shown. That wasn’t why he’d said it at all. “It’s not a problem, Kandros. You don’t have to—” But Kandros wasn’t listening and all Scott could do was sigh and hike his gear higher onto his shoulders as he trudged through a sea of resentful fellow travelers. The wince was only mostly in response to those unhappy people around him. A twinge in his back might have accounted for the rest. “Sorry, sorry.”

He had to admit that it would be a relief to dump the heavy weight of his baggage in his apartment sooner rather than later though. Spending months in a coma, then months recovering, then getting kidnapped while recovering? It didn’t leave much time for conditioning exercises. Or weight training. Or cardio. Or any of the things Scott usually did to ensure he was in top physical condition and capable of carrying his kit without getting winded. And he was feeling that lack now. His body ached when it shouldn’t have, every activity more of an exertion than it had any right to be, and even dumping his stuff at his feet as he waited only offered so much relief.

By the time Scott had made it to the front of the throng, Kandros was already deep in conversation with the salarian. Their omnitools flickered. The rapid-fire orange light of myriad data transfers and permissions threatened to give Scott a headache if he kept looking at it. Then they went dark and Kandros held his hand out to the salarian. “Thanks, Lessa.”

He gestured at Scott and offered a quelling glance to the people still waiting in line, arms crossing to further complete his image as a cool, collected security officer. Scott kept his head down and gave as bashful a smile as he could fake for the guy glaring at him from near the turnstile. Now that he was on the other side of it, he felt too relieved to be guilty about the slight abuse of authority going on here.

“Thanks for the save,” he whispered, leaning close as Kandros uncrossed his arms.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you come back looking worse than the last time I saw you,” Kandros replied, pulling the strap of Scott’s heaviest bag from his shoulders. Scott barely managed to bite back a groan of relief. “Then again, Ryders often defy my expectations. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised anymore.”

“If I told you it was a result of fantastic heroics and devastating competence on my part, would you believe me?”

The plates above Kandros’s eyes lowered, gave his features a severity Scott wasn’t sure he liked. “Yes. Without question.”

Scott snorted. “That’s nice of you to say when we both know what really happened.”

Kandros said nothing as his eyes widened and then narrowed. Then: “What did they do to you on the _Hyperion_?”

Scott knew he wasn’t asking about the fight. No doubt Kandros already heard all the dirty details of that clusterfuck while he and the others were visiting Meridian. Sadly Scott was still convalescing during that time or he would have tried to see Kandros himself.

A prickle of embarrassment bloomed in the back of his mind as he tried to form the answer Kandros was actually asking for.

“Doc Carlyle took excellent care of me while I stewed in my dad-and-sister’s creepy fancy quarters,” Scott answered, “and then I slipped the leash and came back here.”

“How much longer were you supposed to stay?”

Shrugging, Scott shook his head. Forever, maybe? Sara’d seemed surprised by his decision anyway, and pointed out how quick it was, so ‘longer than now’ was probably the correct answer. He thought she possibly expected him to lead the charge on making Meridian their new home, though they hadn’t talked about it.

That was the very last thing Scott wanted to do. He felt it viscerally, all the way down to his bones. And it was good that he knew that about himself. His real problem was he didn’t know what he wanted to do instead.

Maybe set up a poker game in some shadowy corner of the Nexus and zone out for the rest of eternity or until he got over just how badly he’d bungled his part in this whole… initiative.

“You don’t have to carry my stuff.” Scott made a grab for his bag, a grab that Kandros expertly avoided.

“No offense, but even I can see you’re looking a little pale. And there’s a little more… hair growth?” He gestured at his own mandibles. “On your face than I remember. I’ve learned that’s a sign of distress in humans. Unless I’m wrong? Am I wrong?”

Probably somewhere deep down inside he was offended to have been so thoroughly exposed just because he was a day behind on shaving, but going on the defensive wouldn’t help. Better to deflect. “Some humans are attracted to artful displays of facial ‘hair growth.’”

Another long pause while Kandros didn’t answer. And finally, “Only humans?”

Scott’s step faltered and he looked at Kandros with maybe a bit more intrigue than was entirely deserved. He couldn’t possibly have been flirting, after all. There was no way that was what this was. But it was like a switch flipping in Scott’s brain that took Kandros from ‘a friend and not-exactly-colleague-but-Scott-couldn’t-really-explain-it’ territory and planted him deep inside ‘someone he could and should flirt with’ territory.

In Scott’s experience, that place could result in embarrassment for everyone involved, but it could equally result in the best times a person could have.

It was a risk Scott almost always took, unless other things stood in the way. But they weren’t in the same chain-of-command and Scott wasn’t planning on trying to join his team.

So. A risk. Scott was willing to take one.

“I’ve never been complimented about it by a turian,” he said, easy, to test the waters, “much to my enduring disappointment. Maybe that’ll change one day.” He gave Kandros one of his better smiles, maybe not the best, but close to it. “If I’m lucky.”

Then he wondered if turians even cared about the shape of human smiles. Or, more specifically, what one turian in particular thought about human smiles.

If it was anything as positive as the way Scott responded to the delightful little click of Kandros’s mandibles as he figured out how to respond, Scott figured it would be just fine. As it was, he was happy simply walking alongside Kandros as they wound their way to Scott’s apartment. Though Scott was eager to hear what Kandros had to say, he enjoyed the anticipation anyway. It sat in the back of his mind and in his stomach, pleasantly buzzing away there while they walked.

Every time Scott thought Kandros was going to say something, he only cleared his throat and looked away. Turians didn’t blush, but Scott got the impression that Kandros wasn’t used to people flirting with him. It only made Scott want to flirt more, tell him all the things that were running through his mind at the moment now that they were crowding his every other thought. The possibilities spread before him, so many options left behind that Scott almost couldn’t decide which he wanted to start with.

He might have a better idea once he knew what Kandros wanted from him. If he wanted anything from him.

Now that he was thinking about it, he couldn’t believe he’d never thought of it before. Kandros was a good man, one of the best he’d ever met—here or in the Milky Way galaxy. And Kandros’s bearing, his voice, everything about him was exciting and intriguing. He’d never been with a turian, but he wasn’t opposed, not in the slightest.

It was only when they reached Scott’s apartment that Scott felt any disappointment, thinking perhaps he’d been wrong or pushed too far or simply made a mistake in his handling of the situation.

And then the door shut behind the both of them and Kandros dropped his bad inside of it. It thumped heavily, the top slipping sideways slightly while it settled. Scott paid it little mind and was figuring out what to say to Kandros. Maybe an apology was the way to go…

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you on the _Hyperion_ ,” Kandros said, a little hesitant. Scott wasn’t sure where he was going with it, but he was patient enough to wait Kandros out. Kandros deserved at least that much out of him. “We were there while you were still recovering and…”

Scott didn’t answer immediately, taking a moment instead to look around the room and get his bearings. This didn’t feel as much like home as he wanted it to be, but it was more comfortable than the _Hyperion_. If nothing else, it at least wasn’t a hand-me-down from the rest of his family. There were ways, he was sure, that it could have been better, but he felt none of the usual forms of discomfort he’d experienced back there. “You don’t have to explain, Kandros. It was a busy time and I wasn’t at my best.”

Kandros just stared at him for a minute, which did really make Scott wonder what he’d said wrong. It was true. Scott didn’t begrudge him anything, least of all that.

“When I heard what happened to you during the attack on the Nexus, I was… my team should have stopped it. They and I should have been able to protect you. I’ll never forgive myself that we weren’t ready for it. Ryder, I’m—I’m so sorry.” His voice roughened as he talked, worrying Scott with the sound of it. He’d never heard Kandros sound as emotional as he did right now, like he was going to shake apart as he spoke. And all for no good reason because, again, Scott didn’t blame him.

“Kandros,” he said, as serious as he could make himself sound. He wasn’t always the best at that, always sounded just a little bit irreverent. He blamed his family and maybe himself a bit. Not a single one of them could express a sincere emotion to save their life. But it was how he was raised and he could only do what he could to make Kandros understand how important this was to him. Stepping forward, he grabbed Kandros by the shoulders and leaned in as close as he dared, close enough almost to kiss if he got onto his tiptoes. “I don’t blame you. I never would. The kett would have done anything they could to get a hold of me. That’s just a hazard of being my sister’s brother. You saved the Nexus from being completely overrun. I’m just…”

He didn’t want to call himself disposable, but he was certainly less important than most of the people Scott surrounded himself with. At this point he was a glorified tag along.

“You’re just what?” And now Kandros sounded angry rather than upset. And his eyes flashed with it. His talons wrapped around Scott’s wrist, causing an almost piercing pain as they dug into his wrist bone. “Ryder… Scott… I thought I was going to lose you. It was the worst thing I’ve ever felt since coming here and I’ve experienced a lot of terrible things to compare it to. That’s why I couldn’t face you on the _Hyperion_. I didn’t know how to tell you then and I’m still not entirely sure how to say it now, but…” His eyes roved over Scott’s face and those talons of his brushed across Scott’s jaw. His gaze softened. He regrouped himself before Scott’s eyes. It was incredible to witness. “I like your hair growth. I probably liked it back then without ever even knowing it. I don’t know if you feel any luckier now that you’ve heard that from a turian.”

And just like that, Scott’s spirits lifted, the weight of his flirtations suddenly nothing at all now that Kandros _liked his hair growth_. “You secret romantic, you,” Scott replied. He probably needed to take Kandros more to task about the unnecessary responsibility he took for Scott’s safety, but he had more important things to do now. Like find out what it was like to kiss a turian. Reaching up, he braced his hand against the back of Kandros’s neck and pulled him down to Scott’s level.

His mouth was rough against Scott’s lips, nowhere near as pliant as a human’s and Scott was vaguely aware of the incompatibilities between humans and turians, so he was more careful than he might have been otherwise and that somehow only made it more exciting, the ever so slight risk of it. Either Kandros disagreed or he was surprised, because he went still, allowed Scott to take the lead, touch and taste what bits of Kandros he could get.

Scott, like he always did, wanted as much as he could get. It was a Ryder family trait and he came by it naturally.

It was one of those things he could still appreciate about himself. His drive got him all the way here, both metaphorically and literally. And he couldn’t regret a single bit of it when this one thing felt so right, like a missing part of himself that he hadn’t known was gone to start with.

He pulled away in a daze and his heart thundered in his chest, driven far past what he was used to these days. Spending so many months injured, any deviation from the norm felt strange. But for once, Scott didn’t think he had to worry about his health and whether or not he was going to end up back in the hospital. This was a good, old-fashioned raised heartbeat, earned honestly. There was little risk of him hurting himself from it and even if it got to be too much for him, he was fairly sure that Kandros had his back.

“Oh,” Kandros said, breaking the ice that grew between them. His talons scraped across his mandible and then over Scott’s lips. If Scott nipped at one, neither of them had to acknowledge it. “I didn’t know that could… feel as good as it did.” The plates over his eyes drew down again, giving his face a skeptical cast. “I always kind of thought…” He cleared his throat. “I suppose we should… consult a doctor? If we—that is, uh…”

“This might be one doctor’s appointment I’d gladly set for myself, Kandros. If that’s what you want.”

“I… think I do.” Then he nodded. “Yes, I definitely… do. Want that.” He still look a little poleaxed, lost in the sudden shift of their relationship and Scott could feel it, too. It was exhilarating. Like freefall. Like the sky opening above his head as he drove down an abandoned stretch of antique road in a car at top speed.

It was everything Scott hadn’t known he needed.

He longed to do more than kiss Kandros, but right now all Scott wanted to do was relax and bask in Kandros’s company for a while. More than a kiss would still be waiting for them. “Hey, Kandros? Stick around for a bit, will you?”

“I’ll stay as long as you like,” he replied in a manner that Scott didn’t doubt in the slightest.

Scott didn’t intend to push that offer to the limit, but he would maybe take advantage of it this one time. It was his first day back on the Nexus and he wanted to celebrate it right. With people he cared about. He could do a lot worse than a night in with Kandros, he decided.

“Let’s order some food,” he decided, clapping Kandros on the arm before gesturing toward his couch, happy to know that Kandros was his first guest here. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

And Scott was determined to do that catching up. As much of it as possible. For as long as possible. Until he was satisfied he knew what he’d missed while he was gone.

He sure as hell was looking forward to all of that and more.

He was looking forward to everything.


End file.
